Damn, this has been a tough lesson to learn in life… but oh-so liberating.
You can’t control or change other people and their opinions.
You CAN’T please everyone.
And trying to do so will keep you stuck.
YOU are your own business – how you act and the attitudes with which you face the world.
That’s the stuff you can change.
But other people? Waste of energy and time.
Everyone has their own issues, their own ‘stuff’ and this is often displaced onto others.
How they perceive you is a reflection of THEM, THEIR beliefs and attitudes – it really has nothing to do with you as long as you are aligned and being true to yourself.
Keep your side of the street clean; have you acted in a way that doesn’t feel right to you? That’s the bit you can look at and change.
If you live your life trying to please everyone, you will continue to stay stuck, unhappy and grow resentful.
You don’t need to take on other people’s emotions and attitudes. You can say ‘no thanks; that’s your stuff not mine.’
Want to take some you-time but worried people will call you selfish?
Want to go swimming but afraid people will laugh and judge?
Want to follow your business dream but scared of ridicule and criticism?
Want to share how you feel honestly and openly but fearful of backlash?
It sounds easier said than done, but so what if they do call you selfish, laugh, judge, criticise, react badly?
That is THEIR stuff.
It’s triggering something in them.
Those people calling you selfish? Maybe someone called them selfish for the same thing and they’re angry.
Those people judging? Maybe they’ve been judged and now the only way they feel okay is to judge others.
Those people criticising you for following your dreams? Maybe they’re resentful they ‘can’t’ follow theirs.
Those people reacting negatively to you being honest? Maybe it goes against something they’ve been taught and can’t see it any other way.
Maybe, maybe, maybe…
The reasons don’t matter – they do not belong to you and you don’t have to take them on emotionally or practically.
Remember there’s a line between considering other people and people-pleasing.
Shine, lead and do what feels right.
If you can lay your head on the pillow at night and know you’ve acted in a way that feels right, that is true to you, that you haven’t compromised yourself or your beliefs to please others… then you can and will find freedom.