Dear Body,
The words I’m sorry don’t really capture the magnitude of what I feel, but they’re still true.
I’m sorry I hurt you. You have never done anything to deserve the way I treated you. I took you for granted.
I’m sorry for flooding you with so much alcohol- poison, no less- and many times until I lost my ability to look after you.
I’m sorry I made you bleed as punishment for something I had no control over and that your beautiful skin is scarred.
I’m sorry I made you swallow so many pills you had to go to hospital.
I’m sorry for all the times I told you that you weren’t good enough.
I’m sorry I starved you until you began shutting down functions just to stay alive.
I’m sorry I made you eat so much you were obese and couldn’t walk without getting out of breath. And I’m sorry for the times I would cause you to painfully bring the food up again.
I’m sorry for all the times I put you at risk, simply because what was in my head seemed more important than you. I’m sorry I saw you just as collateral damage, and strangely not part of me.
You have always been there for me, even when I abused and punished you for something that wasn’t your fault.
You are what gives me a chance to experience the world and its wonders, to laugh and love, to hopefully realise my dream of bearing healthy children, and to live a long, happy life.
Every scar you bear, every stretch mark, every damaged part, all the excess weight… they are just proof that you have stood by me.
From now on I will make sure you know how grateful I am for you.
I will look after you and work on getting you healthy again.
I will let you be who you are and not criticise you for perceived imperfections.
I will love you every day and be there for you, as you have for me.

You are such an inspiration, your story needs to be heard by all the girls like us who are tired of hurting themselves and want to start healing. I’m cheering you on 🙂
Love, Eliza